There’s a couple of phrases I’ve been using far too often recently:
‘once the baby comes I’ll…’
‘when I’ve lost the baby weight I’ll…’
‘in the New Year I’ll…’
Now it is a little different when it’s pregnancy related. I think it’s fairly normal to put somethings in life on hold, whether thats a new outfit or hair cut when your body is going to change so dramatically. However this way of thinking can often crop up for me and I know it does for others too. How many times have you thought to yourself, ‘once I’ve lost some weight I’ll…’. Maybe it’s once you’ve got that job, bought that house etc that is your cause for pause.
As much as some things are practical considerations with pregnancy, I have noticed myself using that excuse far too often and I’m fed up of it. Life is too god damn short to put things on hold, especially when it’s linked to weight loss.
Back when I was bigger, I used to promise myself a spending spree once I’d reached a certain dress size or number on the scale. For me then it was quite motivating, but the difference was that I did not stop myself from doing or buying other things during the process. You can still buy a few budgeted things or even more expensive things while losing weight – don’t forget there’s always eBay! Some people lose weight for their wedding and although I have some mixed feelings when I look at my wedding photographs, I feel very happy that I didn’t try and hold off on that until I was thinner. Putting things like that off subconsciously reinforces that you don’t deserve something or aren’t good enough and that isn’t going to support whatever goal you are working towards.
If you ever find yourself putting your life on hold, it’s really worth looking at why you are doing that and what impact it is having on you. Like for me, it may not feel like a big deal until you realise that you are living in the future and not in the now which is precisely how I have started to feel. Practical considerations aside, I’d started to get a bit fixated on what I would do after the baby comes. For me this taps into the ‘all or nothing’ part of my personality and when I found myself not wanting to wear my new Nike frees I got for my birthday until I had a new workout outfit to go with them, which of course would need to wait until after the baby is born, I knew I needed to check in on myself. These are some of the things I’ve done and thought about:
Treat yourself now
As much as I am looking forward to a new wardrobe when I’m closer to what will be my normal size I’m making a conscious effort to get bits and pieces that make me feel good now. How I feel is very closely linked to how I dress and present myself and I’ve had to watch that I don’t let myself go and live in leggings and yoga pants. Treating yourself well now, regardless of what you are working towards will only help you reach your goal or achievement quicker.
Look at any goals you have and examine why you have to wait to work on them
Want to run a half marathon but find yourself waiting until next year? Why is that? Will leaving that until next year mean it never ends up happening? What’s stopping you? Again this is about realistically thinking about the reasons you are holding back. At the start of the year I wanted to run 5K and go to a yoga retreat. Fair enough the 5K went out the window, but the yoga retreat? I would have loved to do that and I didn’t. I could have done that earlier in pregnancy but I put it off with no real good reason. It is going on next years wish list though!
Don’t let waiting to lose weight stop you from doing anything
When you start living life by the scales things can get depressing pretty bloody quick. As said for treating yourself now, making sure you don’t let weight become a barrier to living your life as doing what you want will only make losing weight easier. Get a cheap transitional wardrobe if needs be, but remember accessories, make up and skin care isn’t size dependent!
Push outside your comfort zone
Sometimes we put things off because they would cause us to step outside of our comfort zones. If there’s one thing Ive learned in the past 5 years it’s that you have to start expanding that comfort zone to grow and achieve. It might need some confidence building and a bit of a fuck it attitude, which is what has helped me in the past! I always tell myself that life is just too short, that it’s time to put my big girl pants on and just do it!
Never be a ‘start again on Monday’ person
I am so guilty of this but I have turned it around! This is diet mentality at it’s worst. Now I love a fresh start I really do, Mondays, the 1st of the month, beginning of the seasons and of course the New Year, are all good times to refocus. However, if you find yourself not doing something you know you should and waiting for that fresh start, you are putting life on hold! There is undoubtedly power in fresh starts, but remember you have the power to draw your own lines and make fresh starts for yourself any time you want. If you want to eat healthy do it now. Don’t wait until Monday. Use the fresh start for a boost rather than a starting line.
Some examples of the little things I have been doing include getting new Blooming Marvellous bras instead of sitting in my ill fitting Primark cheapos, getting new make up and using it now and buying accessories for the flat (rather than waiting in vain for our home to sell). Yes those are all material things, but material things that greatly impact on my sense of wellbeing. There is of course a budgetary factor to this, but having the means and putting it off is different to not having the means right now. There’s also something to be said for investing in and on yourself, something I’ll be talking about more in a future post. I’m also recommitting to mindfulness and meditation when the temptation had been to put that on hold as well. It makes me feel good and I have no valid reason for not doing it now, even if once the baby comes it will go out the window for a while.
Do you put things on hold? Where have you done this in your life and how do you feel you can tackle it?