Where I am now (another wordy post)

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Where I am now (another wordy post)

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CoffeeatintermezzoThis is a long post so grab a cuppa and get comfy!

Well it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these! Of course a lot has changed for me recently, part of me never believed I would never be writing the words ‘I’m pregnant’ after the health issues I’ve been dealing with. I’ve looked back at my post at the start of the year before I knew I was pregnant, even then I said I had a feeling this year was going to be a good one. I do mention how happy we were and that we didn’t feel like we had a hole in our lives that needed a child to fill it. I still stand by that statement, getting pregnant is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I’m glad it came to me while in a place of contentment and not sadness or desperation if that makes sense.

You can catch up with my other more personal posts here, but to do a quick rewind, 4 and a half years ago I was 15st, my heaviest ever and not very happy in my own skin. I lost weight through generally healthy eating and exercise but then took things a little too far and lost more weight until I was under 9st. I was still a healthy BMI, but I didn’t look great and when I came off the pill my period never returned. That was almost 3 years ago. Bring on weight gain and exercise reduction, then finally medication to get me ovulating. As it happens one ovulation was enough :-)

I have to admit, before I found out I was pregnant I was feeling fed up. I’d gained a lot of weight and nothing seemed to be getting any better or so it seemed. I never want to be under 9 st again, but I was feeling like I’d be more comfortable a little smaller and since the weight gain hadn’t seemed to have made any difference I was at the end of my tether and dialling it up to get back to a place where I felt more confident and healthy. 

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Then of course I got pregnant and everything changed. And by God all of that weight gain and anguish that came with it over the last couple of years has been worth it! 

For a few weeks I was having a hard time with pregnancy comparison. I’m just not going to be one of these slim women with a perfect beach ball bump. What I’ve realised is that every woman is different and the women who are pregnant in the blogging world aren’t necessarily an accurate representation of most pregnant women out there! My focus now is on looking after my body and my baby, and that in itself has had a big positive impact on my relationship with food. The first trimester was tricky, as after feeling sick I would then feel ravenous and because all I could stomach was carbs I was worried I was going to gain too much weight. As it happens I’m actually pretty much spot on in terms of the weight I’ve gained so far which I’m happy about. 

Now that my food aversions have mostly gone, I’m just going with the flow and loving it! I do make a conscious effort to eat nutrient dense foods, but that is generally what I’m craving anyway. I’m also allowing myself treats, but trying not to let the fact that I’m pregnant become an excuse to have too many, which can be a danger with me ;-) So when it comes to food I’m in a really relaxed place where mindfulness and management meet – more on this in a future post! 

Exercise has taken a back seat and after stressing about that a bit, again I’m just happy to go with the flow now. As long as I am active, including walking, I feel happy I’m doing best for my body and the baby. I do have the odd fat and frumpy days, but as I’ve mentioned in my pregnancy updates I think it’s just that phase of pregnancy where you don’t really look that pregnant and rather look like you’ve attacked a buffet table. So overall I’m trying to focus on enjoying the pregnancy and being pregnant but part of me just can’t wait to meet this baby and start a big new chapter in my life. I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to getting back into shape, I have an unofficial target of feeling my absolute best by my 33rd birthday in August 2015 which gives me plenty of time after the baby’s born to do things sensibly and sustainably.  

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In other areas of my life things are going mostly really well. I’m not going to give you loads of happy happy bullshit crap, but I really have nothing to complain about either. Our flat is on the market and as much as I hope it will sell, I’m trying not to become too focused on that outcome. Instead I’m just putting my intention out there, doing what I can and then getting on with it. Bringing up a baby in a one bed flat for a few months isn’t the end of the world, blimey at least we have a roof over our heads! In fact I think it would be rather an adventure. Now how’s that for a reframe ;-)

My business is just bloody awesome and I have some big plans to get going with, including my first recipe e book, a total over haul of Uniquely Healthy and more community projects. There’s also been some very exciting developments recently which look like they could turn out to be a great area of work for me. I am still enjoying my community work more than I could have imagined, I think it’s important to be doing something in the ‘real world’ and not disappear into an online bubble. To start with I was quite nervous about it, but I just love it and get so much satisfaction from making even a small difference in the lives of people that need it. I also have some truly amazing health coaching clients, and the guys doing the 12 weeks to Feeling Fab course are just awesome too, I’m very lucky to know them all. I just love what I do!

 
I have to say I am just loving writing this blog as well! I really do hope that comes across. I used to worry about what things I should post about, and being original, but now I choose to just be authentically me as hard as possible, and I write about things I feel truly interested and passionate about which makes it all the more fun. 
 
How do you deal with situations that are less than perfect?
 

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35 Comments

  1. Hayley

    Hey Laura, obviously I was similar. Lost a lot of weight prior to pregnancy I refused to feel down on myself due to my pregnancy gain. I weighed myself until the end of my second trimester to check my gain was healthy. Then in the third I started retaining water (edema) and chose not to know. I am not going to weigh myself until 6 weeks post birth now at which point you can start a proper diet again.

    My top tip is to not try and wear non pregnancy clothes too much but to have a capsule wardrobe of pregnancy stuff ( spend a bit on things you feel ok in ) and wear it a lot over the 9 months. Organise your clothes so you don’t keep trying the other stuff and having it not fit as that was what bothered me!

    Take time to talk to your bump and laugh about your pregnancy, my husband runs away from me as he says I look like a penguin from
    Happy feet waddling after him.

    Most of all remember your body is no longer just yours and it is doing something fab, which you thought may never happen…. You already know it can do weightloss it just may have to do it again x

    Reply
    • Laura

      I think your idea of not weighing until 6 weeks after birth is a really good idea, definitely something I’ll be doing as well I think. I now have a lovely little wardrobe of pregnancy stuff, the normal stuff has been put away, it feels so much better like that!

      Reply
  2. Melanie

    Hey lovely to read your blog post. I think your mindset is so focused and positive. My attitude is if you are happy shout if from the rooftops. People think nothing of spewing negativity around and as we know in life good always overrides the bad. Your story is amazing and you have no idea just how many women you will be helping who are finding it hard to start a family. Just this week Ive stopped stressing about life. I keep reading all over the net about surrendering and at first I thought that was a way of giving up but now I can see that by choosing to live like this you allow for more positive things to happen in your life instead of worrying and stressing out. Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy your pregnancy every woman’s experience is different and the main thing is that your baby experiences love and that you take care of yourself so that you are a strong mamma – have a great day ;o)

    Reply
    • Laura

      I like that attitude! Yeah I think it’s good to be positive when you have every reason to be :-) I completely agree on the surrendering thing, it can be hard as you say it feels a bit like giving up but the way I thought on it was to see it as letting it go for the time being, and low and behold it comes to you :-)

      Reply
  3. Maria @ runningcupcake

    You always have such a positive attitude Laura, it is great to hear.
    There are a couple of US blogs that I used to read a lot, but they got rather boring (but I could not delete them from the reader)- they still pop up in my reader so I see them occasionally- Carrots and cake is setting such a bad example for pregnant ladies- not sure if you ever see hers but she is heavily pregnant now but still doing crazy crossfit classes. Of course being active during pregnancy is so important, if you feel up to it (and are used to being active anyway), but the intensity needs to be lowered and it does not look like she is at all- I think lots of people will compare themselves to her and think they should be doing that sort of thing too. So it is great to see that you are setting such a positive example- yes being active but also being realistic- your body is busy growing a brand new person- it needs to focus on that!
    At work we are asked to be radiators not drains, in that if something new comes along (happens all the time!!) we need to try and radiate positive vibes instead of sucking the good vibes away. I also like to think about a years time and think about whether it will matter in a years time- it helps put things in perspective.
    I think that some people are more negative about things, but that must be so tiring too- it is much better to celebrate success and enjoyment :)

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Maria! I know what you mean about those blogs, I dip in and out of CnC but I agree that her exercise is a bit full on. It is worrying how many people will compare themselves to her. As you say the focus has to be on growing the whole new person, it’s a feat in itself!

      Reply
  4. Rachel

    One of the things I’ve realised I have been guilty of doing is constantly having this future-centred approach to my diet/fitness – I’ll only be happy/healthy ‘when I weigh xxx’, ‘when I can run for xxx miles/minutes’, ‘when I look good wearing xxx’ – you know the deal! It destroys the joy of living in your body NOW, and takes appreciation away from all the things you can do and how good you feel right now. I used to be a good 2 stone heavier about 10 years ago, and used to hate seeing photos of myself. I recently found some of the old photos of myself and actually was able to see myself as others saw me – not a bloated obese pig but just a normal woman.

    So where I’m going with this is – you (meaning a collective ‘you’ – everyone!) can feel the absolute ‘best’ of what you are now in whatever shape and size your body takes right now, rather than looking forward to a time in the future when you will feel perfect (with perhaps the implication that then life will BE perfect). And also, crucially, not feeling totally happy with your body is ok too – we are more than just our bodies, we have relationships and jobs and intellects to deal with too. I have to remind myself of this regularly, that if I didn’t eat my 79 portions of fruit & veg and instead ate loads of toast – that’s ok. That if I didn’t go to the gym but instead spent the morning in bed with my book or (even better) my husband – brilliant!

    I have never been pregnant but all I have heard mums say is that it is such a precious time and, if you’re not feeling constantly sick, enjoy it! Your life and priorities will change again once the baby comes along – going with the flow in pregnancy is working so well for you now, why not do the same when the baby arrives? Keep the targets for your own food and fitness pretty fluid and don’t be surprised if you completely change those targets! I’m sure your baby will change everything for you!

    Anyway I’ll stop waffling now. I do love reading your long posts – I think you are very brave being so vulnerable in a public online space, it does make a difference to people, as you address things many of us are thinking and feeling but in such an honest way , without ‘loads of happy happy bullshit crap’ – awesome phrase! Keep going x

    Reply
    • Laura

      You are SO right on that, I think we can all be guilty of not feeling happy until we have XXX in our lives. As much as I’ve written about wanting to feel my best in the future, I don’t feel that’s taking anything away from how I feel now, I can certainly accept and embrace that my pregnant body is pretty amazing in it’s own right. Oh and hell yes on the no perfection with diet, that is my whole philosophy really, healthy living is great but part of that should be enjoying life, toast in bed included!

      And oh yes I’m trying not to make any assumptions about what life will be like with the baby as really I have no idea what to expect, it’s going to be very different that’s for sure! Thanks for such a great comment! xxx

      Reply
      • Rachel

        Oo toast IN bed, now you’re talking! :o)

        Reply
  5. Stephanie Murray

    I’ ve been reading your blog for a couple of years but only started commenting, I have 3 small children and my only advice to you is to enjoy each and every day of your pregnancy and your baby when he/she arrives. Time passes too quickly and a baby is so precious. Just take good care of yourself and everything else will work out. Life will be turned upside down when baby arrives so don’t start setting goals now but in my experience the best way to lose weight post natally is to breastfeed, it’s tough but it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever done and totally worth it!!

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Stephanie, lovely to hear that you’ve been reading for a while! I am definitely planning on breast feeding and as you say as much as I want to set targets for myself, I have no idea what to expect when the baby comes, that’s why I think 10 months later is a reasonable time frame to give myself (I hope!) ultimately my priority is the baby and enjoying that, thanks for reminding me how quickly time goes x

      Reply
  6. Tamzin

    What a nice post I am so happy for you things seem to be fabulous for you and its what you deserve you work super hard and its paying off : )

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Tamzin :-) xx

      Reply
  7. Anna @AnnaTheApple

    Yay love these posts :) You are such a fantastic role model and a brilliant blogger. There is SO much pressure on pregnant women and women in general, but you have such a refreshing perspective and joie de vivre (can you tell I’ve just been to France??). And what an exciting future ahead of you!

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Anna :-) I can see you enjoyed France! I agree about that pressure, I’m just trying to focus on what’s best for the baby and me and ignore all the other stuff!

      Reply
  8. Amanda @ .running with spoons.

    I always love reading your update posts, Laura, and I’m glad to see you so happy :) You’ve been working so hard, and you more than deserve to have that paid off. I’ve always loved your straight up, honest, no-BS approach to he alt hand life in general, and I think I may have mentioned that you’ve been a huge inspiration to me? ;) Love ya, lady!

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Amanda, it’s good when all the hard work pays off!

      Reply
  9. Katie @ Peace Love & Oats

    You are such an inspiration, Laura! I’m sure you have hard days where you wish you were a little smaller, especially when you’re gaining a little bump but it’s not obvious. But you are going to be the cutest pregnant woman, I can totally see it! And your being true to yourself reminds me to do the same every day!

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Katie, I do hope I am a cute preggers woman ;-) I think the best we can do is be true to ourselves as much as possible :-) x

      Reply
  10. Lara

    Little house selling tip (in case you have forgotten or not heard) a sales agent once told me showing my flat was the highlight of her day as it felt so warm and homely. When I asked her why she said because I always had fresh cut flowers for viewings and the flat always smelt nice (I’d either brew up a pot of coffee or warm a vanilla pod in the oven before a viewing – baking something before a viewing is also leaves awesome smells) … worked a treat ;-)

    Reply
    • Laura

      Great tips Lara, I shall remember those!

      Reply
  11. Karina

    Enjoy this time & don’t worry about the small stuff(you’re in a good place:)!

    Nursing will be your bestfriend(try to get hold of ‘the drinks are on me’ by Veronika Robinson, it’s awesome!

    X

    Reply
    • Laura

      I will have a look for that book! Yep, totally hoping to breast feed, and have that helping hand to get back in shape!

      Reply
  12. Nicky

    The whole reason why your blog will always be my fave is because you are definitely you! You don’t try to be something you’re not and you’re so honest which is brave but it means people can relate to you and not feel alone. I got tired of reading blogs where they all say the same kind of things, with the same foods and pretending to be all happy happy, when we all know life isn’t like that!

    You’re also right in that the blogging world, well it’s not realistic to compare yourself with them. Bloggers tend to be the whole fitness fanatic, healthy living, many have had some kind of ED in their life type…so they are different to the ‘normal’ population. I also don’t think many of them are as healthy as they make themselves out to be. The pregnant bloggers who love fitness can’t seem to let go of that even when they describe how they feel ‘tired’ and had thrown up that morning or whatever. I mean really? In a way, if anything they are displaying othorexia or some kind of anorexia athletica. Sure, they can get away with pushing themselves and carrying on with their ways and having a perfectly fine pregnancy, but what for? Why punish themselves like that when they should be just be doing what is sensible really. Anyway, my little rant there :)

    As everyone has mentioned above, you are a huge inspiration, your whole attitude and honesty towards everything is admirable and I do look up to you in many ways for that reason :) It’s so lovely to hear how happy you both are too :) xxx

    Reply
    • Laura

      Ah thanks so much Nicky! I agree that the blogging world can be pretty skewed and having fallen foul of that in the past I think it’s a positive thing that I’m more aware of that now :-) Thanks again for just being totally lovely :-) xxx

      Reply
  13. Emma

    I’m so happy you’re in such a good place Laura. I have to reiterate all the above comments expressing that they love Keeping healthy getting stylish because it’s real and honest.
    So enjoying following your pregnancy journey and hoping it’s as smooth as can be :)

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Emma :-) Fingers crossed the rest of the pregnancy will be just as good!

      Reply
  14. Lauren (@PoweredbyPB)

    This is a great positive post, so glad the way things are working out for you :)

    Reply
    • Laura

      Thanks Lauren :-)

      Reply
  15. Mary

    Yes, an adventure is the best way to look at things. One where lots of exciting things happen for you all at once! :)
    We’re having a complete overhaul of our house this week in order to get ready to put it on the market. If you can, pass anything over to parents or friends for storage when you have people visiting – makes the flat look less crowded and bigger. We’re also going to be painting walls and fixing odd bits like our back yard fence which blew down when we had the really bad winds. It might cost us a little but will make our house more appealing to potential buyers. If it’s a colder day I always get ready earlier so that I can have a fire going in the wood burner – people like a different feature. Someone else has already said it, but cut flowers go a really long way as well!

    Reply
    • Laura

      Haha, oh yes lots of things happening at once indeed ;-) Yep we’ve been doing some touching up round the place, re done our little mini back garden and we are getting some new door handles, plus I’ve just got a few little accessories to brighten the place up. We just need people through the door now!

      Reply
  16. Lucy

    I can really relate to this, as I’ve lost a similar amount of weight, I was also 15st at my heaviest and under 9st at my lightest. I realised I had lost a bit too much weight and didn’t look or feel my best(despite still being a healthy BMI) and gained some of it back. I’m not completely comfortable with the weight I’ve gained back, but I feel healthier and better for it, and I’m at a healthy weight which is easy to maintain (without starving myself). I’m not sure if I would have lost my periods through weight loss (as I’m on the depo injection so haven’t had periods in 7 years), but I can imagine that was tough for you.
    I’m also putting my flat on the market next month. Hope yours sells soon and mine too! It will happen when the time is right.
    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

    Reply
  17. Nicole Marie Story

    “I’m just not going to be one of these slim women with a perfect beach ball bump.” LOL!!! And yes, I agree that most prego bloggers wouldn’t do so unless they looked slimmingly fab. I like your pregnancy blog more than I did your old blog. Because it shows results, as I’ve said before. You manipulated your body and diet to begin ovulating again. And holy wow did you ever begin ovulating again. I’m very happy for you. Thanks for another honest post!

    Reply
  18. chrissy grace

    really lovely to read you are in such a positive place – Lotsa love xxxx

    Reply
  19. Christina

    Aww what a lovely post! I love the line about happy happy bullshit crap, haha. So happy for you x

    Reply

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