Last week was the most incredible week of my life. As you can imagine, this is going to be one hell of a post so get make a cuppa and get comfy! Thank you so much again for all the well wishes after the birth of Finley John last week, hence to say it’s been a bit of a roller coaster.
It all started a week last Friday. I’d had my scan the proceeding Monday and a midwife appointment that morning with everything looking perfect in terms of mine and the little one’s health. James and I went to Sainsbury’s for a bit of shopping and while walking round I noticed some period like pains in my lower back. Once we went home they felt a little stronger and I knew then that something wasn’t quite right, especially with the way they’d come and go every few minutes. I called the hospital at 9pm and they told me they were likely braxton hicks practice contractions and I should only worry if baby movement slows down or if I bleed. I managed to sleep for a few hours after listening to my natal hypnotherapy cd, then I woke up and started feeling paranoid about baby movements, then at 4am I went to the bathroom and found some blood so I called the hospital right away and went in for an assessment.
The little ones heart beat was fine and I was checked out too. He was in a transverse lie with his head over at my hip and my cervix was fully closed. I was sent home so we decided to pop to Newcastle for breakfast and shopping as planned. I was still feeling these pains and on the way home I said to James that I really felt something wasn’t right here. He made me call the hospital again and they asked me to come back in.
I got hooked up to a monitor which again showed the heart beat was fine, this time it was also picking up contractions. I was examined but the doctor couldn’t find my cervix. They told me they didn’t think it was labour, but in case it was I should have a steroid injection which would help the little ones lungs mature. It would involve an overnight stay, which I didn’t want but James and I discussed it and we decided to go ahead. I was given the injection and sent to the other ward to wait it out. My parents came and picked James up and took my car home. While James was away, I felt the pains getting a lot stronger. I tried using some techniques from my Natal Hypnotherapy which helped keep me calm. When he got back I told him to get the midwife and have me examined. I was really feeling the pains in my lower back radiating round to my hips, lower abdomen and legs. The midwife examined me, and let me tell you I cried so hard when she told me I was 6 cm dilated!
I felt a lot of mixed emotions at that point, concern for my 5 week premature baby, joy that I would be meeting him soon and happiness that I was not in fact a wimp! I’d only taken paracetamol for the pain up to that point. I was whisked off to the delivery suite at 5pm and got comfortable on a gym ball with James massaging my back. I managed to tell the staff my birth preferences but that I was happy to just make sure my baby was safe above all else. I needed to be monitored with a strap around my middle but I couldn’t stay in one position. I was breathing in gas and air and just trying to hold it together. After some time (I had no concept of time at this point) they said they’d need to monitor the baby via it’s head and that I’d need to lie down. I hadn’t wanted to do that it but it actually turned out to be quite comfortable – well relatively speaking of course! They broke my waters and attached the monitor to the baby. In what felt like a few minutes I had the urge to push. Anyone that’s had a baby will know what that urge to push is like! I had a great doctor and midwife coaching me through it and James was counting me down through the pushes. I really started to feel like I could’t push anymore but the lovely doctor told me they were bringing in the venthouse and how much he knew I wanted a natural delivery so to keep pushing. James told me (through a few tears) he could see the head and I was told I just needed one more push and the baby was out so I gave it all I had.
Within moments baby Finley was placed onto my chest! I couldn’t believe I’d done it, he was here and he was healthy. The first thing I noticed was all that gorgeous hair! He was born at 6.51pm weighing 5lb 4.
On my chest moments after birth
I had some skin to skin before they took him to be checked. James cut the cord as well. I’d sustained a couple of tears down below so had more skin to skin while they stitched me up. Then I had a shower, Fin was placed on a warm mattress and by 9pm we were in the post natal ward. He was checked out by a paediatrician and all was well apart from a couple of things due to his weight and age including his ability to maintain his temperature and blood sugar levels, however both came back as being perfectly fine. He also has tongue tie (which is were the tongue is attached to the lower mouth by a little piece of skin) a condition that can make breast feeding difficult.
I have to say I was lucky to have some amazing midwifes and support staff in those first few hours, and what turned out to be days in the hospital. Committed to breast feeding we continued to try and get Finley to take my breast but he struggled. We hand pumped colostrum and fed him that via a syringe but the docs wanted him to take some formula as well, something I wasn’t happy about. I brought in my own organic formula and we cup fed him it so we still had a good shot at breast feeding. Another complication we encountered was his jaundice. His blood test results kept coming back under the line for treatment but then one test just touched the line and they decided we needed to do phototherapy which added another few days in hospital. It also made feeding harder as he was so sleepy. We kept doing skin to skin and 3 days after birth I was able to use an electric pump to express milk instead of using formula. About that time we had a breakthrough and he started breastfeeding! From day 4 to 6 after birth in hospital I was breastfeeding and expressing top ups to help get the jaundice out of his system. Now we are home its breastfeeding all the way which is fabulous. We have a referral for the tongue tie but that hasn’t stopped us! His weight went down a little after birth as is normal, but now it’s back up again which has given me more confidence in my breastfeeding skills.
Those days in hospital were very hard. All I wanted to do was go home and us be a family, it was so hard for James to come home on his own each night and for me to be stuck in there. Add to that crazy out of wack hormones and I was pretty much an emotional wreck. I did have a few great midwives that helped me through it all, and now that I look back on it I actually think it was a good thing as it gave us the time we needed to get breastfeeding established and I was a lot more confident coming home on Friday after that. Another thing I’ve struggled with is coming to terms with having a pre term baby. I have no idea why he decided to come so soon, and I’ve asked every doctor and midwife why this might be but they have all said it’s just one of those things, baby either wanted to come early or my body has a shorter gestational period. I’ve also found it hard to transition from being pregnant to not pregnant, I think that’s something you get your head around in the last few weeks of pregnancy which I didn’t have. I kind of miss having my bump! The tiredness is also insane, I have no idea how I’m functioning right now to be honest. I am feeling better now I’m home, but in the hospital it was really bad and not made better by the fact that I spent almost 6 days in one room eating hospital food. I really enjoyed my green smoothie on Friday!
Then it was on Thursday night, our last night in hospital, that it really hit me that I was now a mother. It’s an incredible thing to be totally responsible for another life and I do get freaked out by that, but then I remind myself to trust my instincts and that if others can manage this then so can I. I just love my little man so much, I didn’t know I had the capacity to feel so much love for another. James has also been incredible, he’s a natural dad and has been so helpful with everything. Now we are home it’s really hitting me how much life is going to change. We are just finding our feet as a family and establishing some kind of normality for us with our new baby.
Thanks for letting me share that story with you, I find it really helps me get my head around it all when I recount it to people. I still can’t believe I was walking around town and driving while in labour just a few hours before giving birth and I’m so chuffed that I had a positive mostly natural birth experience considering the circumstances. I’m also pretty happy with my body post pregnancy. I’m sure I’ll blog more about that in coming weeks but it’s not half as bad as I was expecting.
I know a few of you have commented on Finley’s name as well, it’s a bit random how we came up with that but it was while we were in Brighton back in May that we heard the name and both loved it. He’s just bloody gorgeous isn’t he!
Anyone else with a pre term baby? How did you feel after giving birth? Who do you think he looks like most, me or James?
P.S – Blogging is obviously taking a bit of a back seat at the moment so regular features like my Meal Plan Share Sunday and Something for the Weekend posts might disappear for a while. I do have some great posts I’d planned in advance, but other than that I’m going to be taking a much more flexible approach to blogging for the foreseeable future :-)
This is just lovely to read! I’ve 3 children and every birth is so personal and unique, I cried reading yours!! take good care, the first few weeks are so tough but amazing!
Thanks Stephanie! Tough but amazing sounds just about right ;-)
OMG he is such a cutie well done you! You both look so happy this going to be a wonderful journey! X
This was such an amazing read Laura, well bloody done!! I can’t believe you were doing all that while in labour either!
Finley is a gorgeous name and he is an absolutely lovely little thing, he looks so peaceful. Great to hear he’s doing well at home and the breast feeding is going well too.
A huge congratulations to James and you again xx
Thanks Claire :-)
What a story! And what a cutie pie! I must say I admire you so much for sticking to your guns on the natural delivery. And breastfeeding success is amazing! I actually had a tongue tie (which they didn’t cut till I was 14!) so may be that was why I was a formula baby… Anyway, very best of luck with the little one – he certainly is gorgeous!
Thanks Cat! Amazing they didn’t sort your tongue tie for that long, the midwives were saying it’s good that it gets spotted much sooner these days :-)
hey sweetie…….well you know about Leo. He was also 5 weeks early but he was growth restricted too. The doctor told me that these little babies will come out when they please and that Leo would have probably done the same but his growth restriction meant that there was a higher risk of problems (hence the bloody c section – worst thing ever!!). I had uterine artery notching on one side of my body, meaning that one of the arteries supplying my womb was not dilating as the pregnancy went on so less blood going to little man and a small placenta. I wouldn’t have known this if i didn’t have a specialist scan beforehand, otherwise I would’ve been like you – not sure of what the hell happened!! Anyway….I understand some of the feelings you’re going through with regards to have a preemie. I have a few important bits of advice for you that I learnt so will message you about these.
Leo is currently tapping on my knee, wearing a stethoscope and pretending to give me a check up! These little ones definitely catch up so don’t you worry! In the meantime enjoy your beautiful baby – he really is gorgeous….and just think, you get to have a tiny baby for way longer than normal :-)
lotsa love and i’m here if you need anything – advice or just a chat. I know how hard it is to get your head around what you have been through xxxx
Hi lovely, it would be fab to chat to you pop me an email if you can (hello@lauraagarwilson.com) xxxxx
You’re amazing! It’s been wonderful to read your birth experience, it must have been a real shock but it sounds like your team were super supportive which is the main thing. You and James are going to be incredible parents xx
Thanks Christina! Can’t wait for you to meet him next year!
Congratulations, Laura! I am so pleased for you and James. Welcome to the world, little Finley xxx
Thanks Laura!
Thanks so much for sharing this! Your son is gorgeous
Thanks so much Sam :-)
Hi Laura he is beautiful. You look very happy as a family. Go easy on yourself – these 1st few weeks are crazy but pass very quickly. Take lots of photos as he will change so much!! Somehow you get used to the sleep depravation…..It will get easier. Like you said, your hormones are all over the place and you do have time to reflect (usually in the middle of the night) and every one side birth story is often nothing like you expect – these babies do like to surprise us!!! Enjoy your time and take it easy – accept any offers of help!! Xx
Thanks Sally :-) I’m definitely planning on lots of pics, and I love my milestone cards as well so a ‘proper pic’ at least once a week with those.
Welcome home! I think although hospitals are not the nicest places, it was best for you and Finley to be there a little longer and now you can relax at home and enjoy being a family together.
One of my friends had real trouble breast feeding, and the tongue tie was not diagnosed for weeks- I think if they had noticed right away it would have been much better, so I think you are lucky that you had midwives there to support you through it..
Another friend had both her babies prematurely and through emergency c-section- the first one they told her off for making a fuss about the contractions as it was so early (I think h was 2 months early or something), and then it turned out to be the baby coming (but he was in intensive care for a few weeks, and when he came home you could hold him in one hand, he was tiny). For the second baby she didn’t want to make a fuss, and was at work on the day he was born (when cleaning out her classroom at the end of the year we found the piece of paper with the contraction timings written on them)- in the end she went to hospital and because of her first experience- lucky she did. Anyway, although they needed a bit of help early on in life, they are both doing really well now (they are 4 and 6).
And because Finley came early you have even longer to cuddle him, so enjoy. xx
Lovely to hear that your friends little ones are doing well, it’s a scary experience for sure. I’m definitely glad looking back that I had that support in the hospital :-)
Congratulations! Glad to hear you’re all doing well. He’s so cute! I think he maybe has your nose!
Thanks Anna, I was thinking that myself ;-)
Well done Laura! Little Finley is just gorgeous and it really sounds as if you coped (and are coping) amazingly well. I’m sure all that’s to come won’t be plain sailing but I bet you and James are going to be a fantastic team! Rest up and enjoy these precious moments.
Thanks Emma :-) Definitely ready to enjoy this special time x
Hey Laura, what a gorgeous name for a gorgeous little boy! Glad you are home & feeding is going well, must have been very stressful. I had to be induced which also meant monitoring and not quite the ‘plan’ I had in mind but ultimately it was for the best for us. Enjoy the teeny snuggles and if you ever want to chat baby stuff just drop me a line – congratulations! Xx
Thanks Lexi, I think it’s one of those things to remember that sometimes it’s about what is best for you and baby that matters :-)
Congratulations Laura! This was a fantastic read, and really gripping, but I’m really relieved I know that everything was okay in the end. You are such a superstar in so many ways. Please don’t feel guilty or responsible for Finley being born early, because as the docs said babies just come when they please for the most part. I was born ridiculously overdue, and my Mum had to be induced (clearly I wanted nothing to do with the world even then :P) because I was already two weeks beyond my due-date. She felt so terrible about it and really there was just no need. I’m so happy that Finley is okay, and you’re both doing well.
Blogging will always be here for you whenever you want to come back to it. You’re totally right to soak up all of the wonderful time that you have together now, and I can already see that you and James are going to be absolutely fantastic parents (I actually think that Finley looks like a completely equal 50/50 split of both of you). Remember to believe in yourself :)
Thanks Jess, I am definitely working on that guilty feeling ;-) He really is doing well, the midwife today even said he’s doing as well / better than some full term babies even. Thanks for the encouragement, it is hard but I do need to remember to believe in myself xxx
Awh Laura, I’m so so happy for you right now! Finley is such a gorgeous name for a boy!! What a great read and definitely a story you’ll remember for the rest of your life and tell Finley about when he’s older :) I can’t believe how well you did and although it is a shock with him coming early, women I know who have had babies early love them being smaller for longer (even if it means loads of feeding!) and they soon catch up to where they’re supposed to be. So glad you’re back at home and breastfeeding like you wanted (and back to your own food yay!)…you both look so so happy in that photo :) :) Start of a new journey! Take it easy lovely xxx
Thanks Nicky! Yes I am trying to think on the positive and enjoy the extra little baby cuddles! xx
This post is just so lovely to read & restores your faith in human nature!
Yes, Laura I can fully relate to the 100% zombie status on the labour ward(not to mention pre labour and post birth
too),just remember it will pass!
Glad you were well-supported throughout by James, your family and hospital staff(it’s touching as they completely ignored any of my birth plan requests despite being fully-conscious and awake, you’re fortunate, Laura:).
Enjoy ur gorgeous wee man, he’s very fortunate to have you both(referring to that beautiful family of 3 picture of you all:)!
X
Thanks Karina, so sorry that you didn’t get the same level of support I did in hospital. Keeping reminding myself the feeling will pass!
Oh my goodness Laura, what a story. I am so happy you are both healthy and happy! He is just absolutely gorgeous, you three make such a lovely little family :)
You coped so well, you should be so proud of yourself!
Take as much time as you need to enjoy every little moment with your new family!!
Thanks Lauren!
In one respect having the security of a hospital full of experts is comforting but man-o-man to be in your own bed is heaven. Finley is such a cutie and I am totally looking forwards to watching him grow and develop.
Both mine were early: snr was 3weeks early and broke my waters 11 years ago to the day to be exact (3am on the 31st Aug) but took until 23:50 on the 2 Sep to make an appearance … plunger was required eventually as turns out he had his cord round his neck 3 times. lots of stress for me and baby after with jaundice, not wanting to feed, needing to feed – think I cried the whole time I was in hospital especially since the feeding nurse’s idea was to take my boob and try graunch it into his mouth …. I still have not forgiven her! Jnr was induced 5 weeks early due to Preeclampsia … more jaundice …… more stress but I knew how to stand up for myself and my baby this time ;-)
PS LOVE the name Finley …. Jnr’s 2nd name is Finley xx
PS also wanted to add some of the best advice I did get from a beautiful Jamaican midwife “sleep when the baby sleeps, if your house is dirty your friends won’t care” … mine even did spot cleans for me in the first few weeks ;-)
Trust your instincts with baby and yourself.
Enjoy every single minute of these precious moments they are beautiful
and last one …
snuggle with babba and take a deep breath of baby for me (clean nappy preferably ;-)) xx
Thanks Lara, that is great advice, need to do more sleeping when the baby sleeps me thinks! Didn’t realise you had a 5 week early baba too!
Congratulations! Your post was so nice to read, made me feel all warm & fuzzy :)
Both of my boys were tongue tied by the way. Getting them latched properly requires some work but jopefully the midwives showed you the technique. I had my kids’ ties snipped at 1, it’s an easy procedure with local spray anaesthetic. If you have any more questions about all that, let me know.
I should hopefully be getting a referral to another hospital soon so fingers crossed it will get sorted sooner rather than later, glad it’s just a straightforward thing to sort out :-)
This was just so lovely to read, and the photo of the 3 of you just exudes happiness! He’s one lucky baby :) xxx
Thanks so much Emma!
congratulations! i’m glad you got the natural birth you wanted, and well done for establishing breastfeeding after a tricky start! hope you manage to get a bit of rest (i still sometimes sleep when the baby is sleeping at 8 months!) and enjoying settling into your new life as a family of three x
Thanks Kirsty! I definitely need to get into the sleep when baby sleeps thing!
Aww what a lovely story! I felt very emotional reading that (and I am really REALLY not an emotional person!)
I’ve been reading your blog since the very first day and followed you on your journey. I’m so happy for you, Finley is is gorgeous little chap and you look like such a lovely family! I’m glad you got the experience you wanted, although a little earlier than planned! :-)
Haha thanks Zoe! Amazing that you’ve been reading the blog for so long, you’ll definitely know how special this is for us then :-)
Welcome to the world little Finley. So glad that everything went well and that you managed to get the matural birth that you wanted. Sounds like you had an amazing team supporting you. You will be fantastic parents and looking forward to reading other blog posts about his development xx
Thanks Joanne, we were very lucky :-)
Yay – love this story ! Who would have thought your would go into labour after our chat! He is the cutest thing ever and well done for persisting in breast feeding I hear it so much more tricky than you think. Enjoy enjoy enjoy !
Haha I know! :-) xx
Oh Laura, he is absolutely lovely, and I am not a baby person at all! Massive congratulations once again!
It must have been so scary when you realised that you were bleeding and I’m so glad you had a happy ending.
My niece also has tongue tie and I was surprised to learn that they leave it until the child is much older before making the snip to sort it out.
The picture of your family is perfect, and you have such a big smile in that photo! Looking forward to hearing more once you make a regular return to blogging. x
Thanks Mary! It definitely was scary but certainly a happy ending as you say!
Congratulations Laura, you baby is gorgeous!
Enjoy every minute because he will grow so fast!
Breastfeeding is the best, keep the hard work as it is good for you and for your baby boy!
Have fun and don’t worry so much!
Thanks claudia, definitely focusing on making the most of every second with my little boy!
Wow what a lovely birth story! Must have been so odd though to suddenly be like “I’m having a baby!” five weeks before you thought you would. Glad the breastfeeding is going well as well. I’ve rarely heard of people that have had absolutely no issues. I think it’s something that you work at and trial and error.
Hope you’re not too tired and congratulations again!
It really was Anna, I think I’m still coming to terms with it all! The tiredness isn’t too bad thankfully but we’ll have to see how that goes!
Hi Laura
I follow you on twitter and I love reading your blog! I have 10, 8 and 6 year olds and I have certainly moved on from the pregnancy and baby part of my life. But I have really enjoyed reading your updates as you go through this special time in your life.
I just wanted to say that my middle baby arrived early (baby one was on time and number three was late) after my waters broke at 34+5. He was delivered a week later and was 5lb13. He breast fed well, weaned very easily and is now my best eater! He is strong and tall and you would never know that he was born early! My placenta gave up on him for some reason, but nothing stops him now!
Wishing you and your little family all the best! This is what it’s all about!
Xx
Congrats to you both again. He’s such a little cutey! Really glad that you both are home and well.
Congratulations!
Finley really suits him!
Take Care & get as much rest as you can :)
Wow, what an emotional post! He’s so cute, big congratulations to you and James! x
massive congratulations! he’s gorgeous and you look glowing :) my little man was 3 weeks early and we had a similar experience – hospital for a week due to him and me having an infection, jaundice, a brief spell in neo-natal, but it was all worth it! I totally get the ‘missing being pregnant’ thing – i had only left work a couple of days before and had a normal day (gym, lunch, yoga) then by the next day – bang, i was a mom! obviously i was overjoyed, but i’d planned to really enjoy my bump in those last weeks ;)
much love to you and your little family :)
xx
Amazing. Congratulations on such a cutie! Best of luck with everything to follow. They say now the hard work begins – eeek!
Congratulations Laura! Was lovely reading your birth story – Finley is gorgeous and it sounds like you are all doing really well! xx
Thank you so much for sharing your story Laura. Such a beautiful and emotional read. Finlay is gorgeous. Congratulations. I’ve been following your blog for a while now and have so enjoying catching up with you throughout your pregnancy. I have just found out I am four weeks pregnant. So delighted I have been smiling since I found out on Friday! I am also very apprehensive about the changes my body will go through & what kind of mother I will be. It’s lovely to see you doing so well. Enjoy every moment. Take care of yourself and your little one X
Mega congrats – he is so adorable!! I couldn’t wait to read your birth story – WELL DONE :) xx
What a cutie! Congrats! I couldn’t wait to read your birth story & it was a great one. I am glad baby & you are doing well. I can’t wait for all your future posts with mom advice & cute pics. Enjoy your little one!
Finley IS bloody gorgeous! And I love the name you chose as well :) I can’t even imagine all the emotions you must be going through right now, but I DO know that you’re going to make an amazing mother, Laura. Finley is a lucky little guy :)
Aww he is lush Laura! Congratulations, I have a massive lump in my throat reading this, you have done so well and it is lovely to hear someone so positive about the whole experience. Enjoy your precious boy x
I loved reading this Laura. As someone who has worked a lot with neonates, it was really touching to read the ‘mother’s’ side of the story especially about how difficult it was to get through your stay (but you did great)! Congratulations on persevering with the breastfeeding, I’m sure it will do Baby Finley a lot of good :) As for why he came early, the team are exactly right, we may never know, it just does happen! Have seen many many women give birth to pre-terms (much earlier than Finley too) who are completely fit as a fiddle and had no pre warning signs. But yes, maybe Finley was just too eager to come meet his ma & pa :) He’s a cutie, glad to hear you are all doing fabulously!