Over the last couple of years, I have been on quite a journey in my business. There have been moments of doubt, frustration, and deep questioning.

But there have also been some profound shifts. These mindset and energetic changes have completely transformed how I show up in my business and, as a result, the kind of outcomes I am seeing. They have moved me into a very different energetic space, and that shift has had a direct impact on my income, the number of clients I attract, and the sales I make.

In this post I’m going to share my own experience of navigating all of those feelings, and the three energy and mindset upgrades that have genuinely helped me attract more clients, increase my income, and make sales in a way that feels more aligned and sustainable.

Listen to this episode on The Wholehearted Business Show Podcast: Listen on Apple Podcasts / Listen on Spotify

How I used to struggle in my coaching business

Before I share the three key energy and mindset upgrades that changed everything for me, I want to take you back a few years and talk honestly about where I was in my business.

There are many more shifts that came alongside these ones, and I will be unpacking them in more depth inside the masterclass. But I think it is important to name this part of the journey first, because you might recognise yourself in some of it.

A lot of what I was experiencing is actually very normal, depending on what stage of business you are in. The issue is not that these challenges show up, it is whether you have the tools to move through them rather than getting stuck in them.

At that time, I was really struggling with comparison. I constantly felt behind other coaches and caught in the story of why everyone else seemed to be so much more successful than me. I was measuring myself against other people and, unsurprisingly, feeling awful about myself as a result.

Looking back, I can see that I was only ever seeing a very two dimensional version of what other coaches were presenting online. But at the time, the comparison felt incredibly real. On some days it was genuinely crippling. It made me question why I was even bothering, when there were clearly people who seemed better, more confident, and more successful doing the same work.

Alongside that came a deep sense of imposter syndrome. Thoughts like, who am I to be doing this work, sat quietly but persistently in the background. There was a lot of self doubt, a feeling of being out of my depth at times, and an underlying hum of uncertainty that never really switched off.

Even when those thoughts were not front and centre, that background noise was still there. And that kind of low level, constant self doubt can be just as damaging as the louder moments. It shapes how you show up, how you make decisions, and how safe your nervous system feels in your business.

At the time, a lot of the advice I was hearing was to just fake it till you make it. But as a highly sensitive, heart led person, that approach felt completely wrong for me. It felt inauthentic and, honestly, quite icky. I could not bring myself to pretend to be something I was not. That disconnect between who I was and how I felt I should be showing up created even more internal tension.

Financially, things also felt very unstable. I was making good money in my business, but it was inconsistent and unpredictable. One month could feel great, the next deeply stressful. That lack of steadiness was incredibly hard on my nervous system.

At the time, I was the main breadwinner for my family, even while I was still in a relationship with my ex husband. Carrying that responsibility alongside fluctuating income created a constant sense of pressure and a lack of financial safety that was exhausting.

I also found myself regularly feeling like I wanted to burn my whole business down. Now, sometimes that urge to tear things apart can be a sign that change is needed. But when that feeling shows up over and over again, it is incredibly destabilising. It is draining for your nervous system, awful to live with, and it completely stalls your momentum.

There were moments when I seriously considered going back to a nine to five job. I was scrolling job sites and wondering whether it would be easier to walk away, even though I had a good business, amazing clients, and so much that was actually working.

What I can see now is that the issue was not my business itself. It was how I was managing the internal experience of running it. The emotional ups and downs, the uncertainty, and the lack of regulation made everything feel unsustainable.

At the same time, I was dealing with a huge amount in my personal life. I was going through a separation from my husband, which unfolded over several years, including the complexity of still living together for a long time before he eventually moved out. My son was diagnosed with epilepsy, which was incredibly stressful, worrying, and emotionally demanding. There was also a lot happening around my identity, my body, my weight, and how I was caring for myself. I will speak more about this inside the energetic shifts for coaches, because it is all deeply connected.

All of this was going on at once. Early 2023 was probably the point where things really began to unravel, but also, quietly, to come back together in new ways.

It was not a comfortable place to be. But it was the starting point for some very important internal work.

What shifted things for me was turning my attention inward. When I talk about energy, I am talking about our internal state. Our nervous system, our emotional landscape, the thoughts we are having, and the behaviours that follow from those thoughts.

There is the mindset piece, but there is also something deeper. An energetic, embodied, being level shift that is not just about what we think, but about how we are living and inhabiting our business.

Shift #1 – I stopped being a Damsel in Distress when it came to money

The first major energy and mindset upgrade I experienced was around money. More specifically, it was about no longer seeing myself as a victim financially.

All of these shifts are quite personal, but I am sharing them in the hope that something here sparks a realisation for you too.

When I started to look more closely at the stress I was experiencing around money, particularly the constant ups and downs in cash flow, I realised that the issue went deeper than just my business. Some months were great, others were incredibly tight, and the emotional toll of that instability was huge.

So I started asking myself different questions. Where else does this discomfort with money show up in my life? What is the emotional experience underneath the numbers? What is actually going on here?
What I uncovered was confronting but powerful. I realised that I was carrying a strong victim mentality around money.

For me, this went back years. During the financial crash in 2008, my husband and I lost a significant amount of money on the flat we were living in. Almost overnight, we lost around £20,000 and found ourselves in negative equity. We stayed in that one bedroom flat for ten years. I had my first child there. We paid the mortgage month after month and, in the end, walked away with nothing.

That decade left a mark. I was carrying a lot of bitterness and anger about it. And while I am very aware that this is a first world problem, it was still emotionally heavy for me. It felt like ten years of my life where I made no financial progress at all.

At the same time, I was incredibly lucky. My parents helped us with a deposit for the house I live in now. But what I realised, when I really sat with all of this, was that a part of me wanted to be saved. I wanted someone to swoop in and make everything okay.

That realisation hit me hard.

I had to ask myself a difficult question. Am I unconsciously keeping myself in situations where I can be rescued, because I am waiting for someone else to fix things for me?

When that landed, it felt like a firework going off in my brain. I could see how, energetically, I was staying stuck in patterns that allowed me to remain the victim. Bitter. Angry. Waiting for a knight in shining armour to step in and sort everything out.

And the moment I stopped doing that, things began to shift.

I also had to look honestly at other parts of my financial reality, including debt. And there came a point where I had to say to myself, very clearly, no one is coming to save you. This is your responsibility. It is not anyone else’s fault. You are going to have to sort this out yourself.

That was a huge turning point.

Energetically, it moved me out of victimhood and into responsibility. Out of waiting and into action. Out of being the damsel in distress and into someone who was willing to handle her own situation, even when it felt uncomfortable.

This was one of the biggest realisations I have had in my business. And I want to say clearly, this will look different for everyone depending on your circumstances. There are many versions of what this shift might look like.

But for me, the key was noticing what was happening underneath the surface. What I was feeling. What I was waiting for. What emotional need was driving the pattern.

There was no magic wand moment. A lot of this work happened quietly. Lying in bed at night. Thinking things through. Letting myself feel what was really there. Sometimes it hit me suddenly and I would burst into tears because I had touched the sore spot.

But that is where the shift happened.

At its core, this upgrade was about taking full responsibility for myself, my choices, and my financial reality. And at a deeper, more energetic level, it was about this decision:

I am not waiting to be saved anymore. I am going to do that for myself.

Shift #2 – I evidenced my own awesomeness

The second major energy and mindset upgrade was finally allowing myself to recognise that I am actually very good at what I do.

This shift is deeply connected to self doubt and imposter syndrome. For a long time, I struggled with a constant background hum of questioning myself. Even though I knew I was doing good work with my clients, there was always that quiet voice asking whether I was really good enough, experienced enough, or qualified enough.

I was not selling from a place of pretending or exaggerating. I genuinely cared about my clients and their results. But the self doubt sat underneath everything, shaping how confidently I showed up and how safe I felt owning my work.

Letting go of that background noise has been transformative.

Truly believing in what I offer has allowed me to show up with more confidence and to sell from a place of integrity. I believe in my work wholeheartedly. From top to bottom and inside out, I know that what I offer is valuable and effective.

A big part of this shift came from gathering evidence.

This was not about fishing for praise or getting people to tell me how great I am. It was about having honest conversations with my clients. Asking what was working well, where there might be gaps, and how I could show up better for them. It meant being willing to hear uncomfortable feedback and then actually doing something with it.

That process built enormous self trust. I could see clearly where I was strong, where I needed to improve, and that I was capable of closing those gaps. That is very different from vague self doubt with no grounding in reality.

Another huge factor for me has been this podcast. Having over 200 episodes that are still being listened to and watched is powerful evidence in itself. You cannot speak consistently for that long without knowing what you are talking about. The feedback I receive from listeners reinforces what I already know. I understand my work, I can articulate it clearly, and it helps people.

This is a great example of how practical action supports energetic and mindset shifts. Doing the work creates proof. Proof builds confidence. Confidence changes how you show up energetically.

As this shift has settled, I have stopped shrinking in my business. I no longer hold back or minimise what I do. And as a heart centred, highly sensitive person, this was something I had worried about. I was afraid that fully owning my expertise might feel arrogant or misaligned.

Instead, it feels grounded and natural.

Because it is backed up by evidence. By experience. By results.

That does not mean I never experience moments of self doubt. I do. But now I trust myself enough to move through them. I know my intentions are good. And I know that good intentions alone are not enough to run a sustainable business.

It is the combination of intention, knowledge, experience, and skill that creates real impact. And trusting that combination has been one of the most important upgrades I have made.

Shift #3 – I stopped the negative spirals

The third major shift for me has been learning to regulate myself through all the emotions and ups and downs that running a coaching business naturally brings, especially when you are highly sensitive and heart centred.

In a coaching business, everything feels bigger. Rejection, self doubt, imposter syndrome – all of these experiences can feel amplified. Layer on sensitivity and empathy, and the emotional intensity can sometimes feel overwhelming.

What I learned was how to regulate myself through those negative thought spirals. Instead of reacting by thinking my business was broken after one rejection, or that a poor launch meant my offer was terrible, I started noticing my reactions and slowing down before spiralling. I learned to respond rather than react.

Part of this was about balancing my energy. I don’t think we “manage” energy in the traditional sense. That feels too mechanical and masculine. Instead, we attune to it, we notice it, and we learn what we need to restore balance. When you understand your emotional and energetic needs, it becomes much easier to stay grounded, even when the business feels challenging.

A key mindset shift that helped me enormously was realising that one setback does not automatically mean the worst. One client saying no does not mean I will never get another client. One launch not going well does not mean my offer is bad. I learned to catch myself before my mind starts to spin stories about one event meaning everything. It could mean many things – and usually, none of them catastrophic.

Learning to regulate yourself like this helps in all areas of life, not just business. It prevents you from descending into overwhelming negative loops, which drain your energy and make it much harder to show up consistently and deeply.

The biggest mindset takeaway is simple but powerful: because something happens does not automatically mean something awful. When I catch myself assuming the worst, I challenge that assumption. That small, deliberate step has made a huge difference in my confidence, resilience, and ability to run my business sustainably.

Next steps

So there we have it. These are three of the many shifts that have helped me transform my business and myself personally. None of this happens in isolation – what you do personally will always affect your business, and what you do in your business will affect you personally. We are in a relationship with our businesses, and that relationship works both ways.

When we start to balance our energy and become intentional about our mindset, the differences can be remarkable. Of course, strategy matters – I teach a lot of strategy – but strategy alone is not enough. You can follow every business plan, marketing tactic, and sales strategy, but if deep down you feel like your work is not good or that you are not capable, you will struggle to get the results you want.

For example, if you subconsciously feel like you are waiting for someone else to save you financially, it is very hard to thrive in your business. You cannot build financial success if part of you is waiting for rescue. These internal dynamics directly impact what you can create externally.

I go into much more detail on this in my Energetic Shift Masterclass, where I share more personal experiences from the last few years and show how the energetic and mindset work interacts with business results.

I hope to see you there!

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