Happy Friday! I hope you have all had a great week. As I’m off on my holiday at the moment I don’t have my usual snippets from the week, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk more about my little Love Lists and celebrating positive things in general.
Whether it’s things that make you smile, things that move you, little things that make your life better – I think celebrating that is always a good thing.
One thing I’ve been realising recently is just how easy it is to get caught up in a negative thought spiral. Just for a few hours, pay attention to the words you speak, both out loud and in your head. How much of them are negative statements? As much as am an advocate for practising self love, even I have noticed that I can be negative with myself at times.
‘why even bother trying to start that project, your not as good as (insert name here) and it will fail in the end’
‘there’s no point in trying to eat healthily this weekend because I know I’ll end up getting a take away on Saturday night and f**k it up’
‘I’ve tried to lose weight so many times before and failed, maybe I’m just destined to fail’
Any of those statements sound familiar?
It can be so easy to slide into a mindset where all you see is the bad stuff, and once you are in that place it can spiral down and get worse. I talked briefly in my newsletter about planning to succeed instead of planning to fail. When you are telling yourself that you are going to fail – and that is exactly what those statements are doing – what else do you really expect to happen? I know those thought patterns can be hard to reverse, which is why I’m such a fan of practicing positivity.
Add a few sequins and a horn ;-) source
Now I’m not saying here that we should all be rainbows, unicorns and bloody sparkles, and certainly not in a forced or faked way (although there can be something said for the fake it till you make it approach!). I’m also not saying that there is anything wrong with occasional negativity – if that is done in a way where you own it, rather than it owning you. I have some really down periods, but I give myself permission to feel like absolute crap for a few hours, then after that it’s time to move on.
Practising positivity in small, genuine ways is a great way to start changing some of those negative thought patterns.
If I told you to think about a red car, I bet for the next few hours you’ll see loads of them. Are there any more red cars on the road than usual? No, but your brain is filtering for them now so will take notice.
Gently focusing on some positive things means you will slowly but surely start to change what your brain notices more of, that being the good things. It’s kind of slowly changing from a glass half empty to a glass half full mentality. I do believe that some of us are just more naturally inclined to be one way or the other, but despite that, I think it would help anyone.
So whether it is the little things that make you smile or just the positive things you have done today – for example buying a bottle of water instead of your usual bottle of coke, celebrate that. I write my Love List on a Friday as a little way for me to train myself to keep on noticing the good stuff. I have also been listing out a few things each day on my Dayre account, and seriously even for happy go lucky me, it has been incredibly useful!
Why not start writing your own weekly Love List or even jotting down a couple of good things every day?
So what’s on your Love List from this week? Do you find yourself being negative without ever realising it? Do you plan to fail or plan to succeed?
Great post Laura. I think it can be so easy to get drawn into negativity and brush over all the little (and big) positive things going on. For me, writing a blog is a great way to make sure I do focus on the positive – noone wants to read moan after moan! I also agree about giving yourself permission to feel rubbish, it’s something I’ve recently learned to do. Knowing that in however long I will be forcing myself out for a walk after I’ve given myself the time to process the negativity really helps.
Thanks Claire, I think you are right about there being that balance, being positive but still allowing yourself to have a bad day sometimes too!
I can be quite guilty of this and have recently been making a conscious effort to focus on the happy things going on rather than the fact the washing-up hasn’t been done, or whatever. I like you love list idea :)
I couldn’t agree more. I honestly think that life is half the things that happen and half how you deal with them. Having a negative mindset will only make a bad situation seem a hundred times worse, whereas actively looking for the good will help. It’s easier said than done, granted, but it definitely works! Hear hear! xx
I love the way you say that – so right!
PS. That My Little Pony is too cool! x
It can be so easy to concentrate on the negative when times are hard, but remembering the good times and concentrating on the positive can be such a great help.
This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes — “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Mindset is definitely everything when it comes to how our lives pan out… Circumstances and situation are important, sure, but they still come second to how we interpret and deal with them.
I think sometimes we’re automatically negative in Britain. “Oh the weather is rubbish”, “oh the traffic is bad”, “oh the government are being silly”. But in reality life isn’t that bad. It’s easier to just see the bad stuff than work out what’s making things good in life. Even when life gets you down you have to find some positives to focus on. When I was really down about not running I tried to focus instead on the benefits….more sleep! More time to prepare dinner and lunches.
My love list at the moment consists of Buffy the vampire Slayer re-runs. I used to watch it avidly when I was younger. Now Ben’s into it and we bought the whole boxset…I love it! Especially now it’s so cold, it’s great to curl up with a hot drink at the weekend and just watch loads of episodes. Bliss.
Ah I love Buffy! Yes I think you are right that sometimes us Brits can see a lot of negatives, I think it’s nice to look on the bright side more often!
We have a little saying at work for when everyone is feeling fed up with all the new initiatives being brought in the whole time- be a radiator not a drain- basically try to radiate positivity instead of sucking the energy out of people. Looking on the bright side and looking for positives helps.
I think generally I am quite positive, but I also find a big moan cathartic at times!
I love the idea of a love list but I am never organised enough for weekly things- I would have on it this week the lovely wintery weather (clear blue skies and frosty air) and the fact that Lush have released a Snow Fairy scented perfume!
What a great saying! I think I will have or remember and use that :-)
This post really gave me a boost just when I most needed it. Thank you.
Hope you’re having a great holiday. (:
Thanks Emma! I’m so glad that you found it helpful xxxx
I always love your love lists, they’re the main reason I started writing up my own. But I have noticed mine have become more an overview of the fun things I did that week (which of course I am grateful for, after not being able to experience fun for a long time). One of things on my love list which you will relate to is “Girls” I’ve been watching the first season these past few days and I’m hooked.
Thanks Sonja, I’m so glad that you love my love lists! Girls is awesome, can’t wait for the next series!