Confession, I almost deleted this post, but I’m going to go ahead and post something a little negative and whiney in the hope that it helps someone else feel a bit better for feeling negative and whiney…
I’m typing this blog post with a hot water bottle on my knee and a heap of crumpled tissues all over my desk. It’s a Monday afternoon and I’ve spent most of the weekend in bed feeling utterly crap with flu. Although I’m feeling a bit better, today hasn’t been great so far either. It took 15 minutes to de-ice my stupid car, I had a huge full on argument with James (blaming PMT for that) and Finley had a meltdown when we left him at nursery which never happens. I cried in the car park.
My sleep for the last month – actually scratch that and let’s get real here, the last 18 freaking months – has been abysmal and my diet has been pretty shit for the last month too. I also haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks.
We’re still living at my parents’ house and while Finley is sleeping so badly (apparently there’s something called the 18 month sleep regression, as if it could get any worse!) I’m going to bed at 7pm just so I can get as much sleep as I can. I’m not getting much time with James and each weekend is spent working on the new house.
Over the past two weeks I’ve taken on too many projects than is comfortable for me and as much as I’ve enjoyed them I’m just feeling sick, tired and overwhelmed.
I know, I know, woe is me right…
To be honest I’m not even sure where this blog post came from, and I’m resisting the urge to turn it into some inspiration ‘tips’ post or to remind myself that I have no right to feel like this when others in the world are struggling with things a million times worse. However, sometimes life is just a bit crap, and sometimes it’s ok to wallow in it for a while. I’m hoping that by sharing that, someone else reading this will feel a little less alone.
In an online world filled with perfection, rainbows and unicorns it can feel isolating when you don’t have your shit together. The truth though, is that we all have times in our lives when we don’t have our shit together, and that’s ok! It’s part of life’s ups and downs. The trick is how you adapt and change to get back to a place of health, happiness and balance.
So what’s the plan from here?
♥ Listing out some easy to make protein and veggie packed meals and snacks that I can make quickly and that don’t take much cooking. Revisiting this post on healthy eating cheats for the time challenged.
♥ Taking every available opportunity to sleep and being ok with that. Revisiting this post on how to cope when you can’t get any sleep.
♥ Popping Finley in nursery an extra day a week, and using that time for work or more sleep (and being ok with that).
♥ Not adding exercise to the long list of things that stress me out when they don’t happen and just being ok with that right now.
♥ Reframing how I see a lot of things we have going on right now given our ‘limbo’ living situation – i.e. it isn’t going to last forever.
Ultimately, for me, it’s about being ok with the fact that this is just the phase of life I’m in right now. I’m not going to be in my peak health, my self care is going to take some knocks, but it’s not going to be like this forever. What I can do is work with what I have, forgive and love myself a little bit harder and just keep doing my best.
Oops, maybe I did get a bit inspo at the end there ;-)
Is life a bit shit for you right now? If so you have my full permission to let it rip in the comments!
I’ve not had my shit together since I left a job I loved to ‘become’ a military wife nearly a year ago. I’ve had some of my shit together at various points, but until we move again (which will be the third time in fourteen months), and I can finally look for a job, I just feel like I’m permanently in limbo, and I hate it. It makes me hate our situation and everything associated with it, and then guilty because it’s really not that terrible a situation to be in, and then cross because I don’t want to feel guilty!
Planning helps, and your posts and the group have been invaluable xxx
That must be so hard for you Sarah, as someone who is a real home body routine person that would be really tough for me to manage. Is there anything positive about it you can focus on to help you through until you move? Sending hugs, and glad the group has been so helpful x
Sometimes it is so good to be honest, and well done for putting this post up, Laura! I’ve been struggling with illness recently, and whilst it should get seen to in the next few months, things like exercise have totally gone out of the window. I am OK with that, but I was hard on myself for a while about it! Hope things look up soon, hopefully he’ll start to sleep soon and it will all be worth it when you’re in your new place x
Thanks Deepa, sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with illness recently, it’s great that you’ve been able to be ok about the exercise thing x
Yes, yes, yes this is me too! It’s really hard when you are juggling so much to have all your shit together. I was up all night with my sick babba and so all my nice plans for the day have gone out the window. Instead my dog walker is coming to rescue the dog from me (save me a miserable walk in the rain with a screaming baby) and I am going back to bed. That kettle bell workout can sod off. Life is hard right? Thank you for posting this, it’s really reassuring that we are all in this together x
Oh Amy we are definitely in this together :-) Hope your babba is better now and you enjoyed going back to bed. Somethings that’s just life!
Its not nice to hear that you are having a tough time, but it keeps it real when you share it which is refreshing. Life can be a bit shit for all of us, and when you are in the health and wellness world, there is such a huge pressure to be this perfect wellness fairy that runs around smashing everything with grace whilst being a toned size ten, and not ever worrying about anything or having negative thoughts etc etc. But that isn’t real life!! Life can be amazing of course and we are very lucky most of the time, but it can also be a pile of shit and not easy. Everyones issues are all relative and its ok to rant about it all once in a while. I certainly don’t have my shit together – last week I was a hormonal mess, it happens (poor Johnny!). Like you said…. “What I can do is work with what I have, forgive and love myself a little bit harder and just keep doing my best.” YES! Like Amy said above, we are all in this together!! Sending you lots of love from Oz! xx
Thanks Lauren, you’re definitely right about being a part of this world adds even more pressure. Hope you’re feeling less hormonal (I was shocking last week!) xxx
Yes! Me, too… and I do not have half of those things on my plate.
In my view, the time of the year does not help, either: I always feel blue, put on weight, and struggle to cope with stuff in these grey, cloudy days. In my case, it really helps to go for a vigorous walk outside. There is something about the breeze, the cold in my cheeks, or whatever that lifts my spirit and gives me energy. Maybe cancel / suspend the gym membership for the time being, and try to go outside, instead?!
You’re so right about the weather! My issue at the moment is time to do any exercise and where my parents live (where I’m living at the moment) is rubbish for walks! But I only have 3 1/2 weeks left before we move :-)
Ahh sorry to hear about you feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed. It sounds like you have so much on your plate right now. But, like you said, things will improve. Your house will eventually be sorted, Finley will eventually sleep better. And let’s be honest, the weather sucks. Feb is such a naff time!! I’m so fed up of bloody rain. But hang in there, you’ll be back to normal soon. And it sounds like your plan of attack is a great one.
Oh heavens yes the weather is only just starting to improve it seems. February is generally a sucky month but March is coming!
Love that you posted this! Let banish all the perfection on the inter web – being real is SO powerful – Thanks Lovely!!!!
Thanks Kezia! xxx
Life has a way of sneaking up and kicking you in the butt sometimes and that’s ok. Well done for being real about it. Sending you positive vibes and hoping things start to get better for you x
Thanks Melanie, feeling much better this week thankfully!
Laura, everyone feels like this at times, and it is never helpful to think “oh others have it worse” because you can’t help how you feel, you just need to treat yourself and help yourself through it. Not feeling guilty about lack of exercise etc is important- sometimes you can’t do everything. And the meme I keep seeing about having the same number of hours in the day as Beyonce is not helpful- I don’t have a PA etc like her!
Moving house is so stressful (one of the worst!)- and having a baby, not sleeping etc- it’s no wonder you feel that way. So be kind to yourself, and you will get through it. x
Lol, haha yep I never thought that about the meme but absolutely right about Beyonce!
New bathroom going in should have been easy! Oh no woodworm, leaks ceilings falling in BUT I think we have turned a corner! As for sleep and the gym in with you Laura, although I don’t have any children my sleep patterns are abysmal and the knock on effect has made food and exercise total pants X but we all have each other so let’s vent away xx
Oh no Emma what a nightmare! I’m sure it will get sorted quickly for you xx
Totally empathise with you on this one & can relate. I’m the mum of a 5 1/2 month old baby & after Xmas thought I had my shit together so signed up for slimming world, started trying to cook loads, project managed DIY and decorating for the first time, took on three different baby groups & found myself part of about six different mhm what’s app conversation groups. So guess what? I hit peak stress & anxiety, got angry, couldn’t make decisions, argued with my partner & felt like a shit mum. It’s too much & it’s ok to be ok. And to look after yourself too rather than everyone else all the time!
Things that I did to reduce the stress:
-changed my settings on social media so I don’t get notifications
-had a bath a day for some me time
-also do a supermarket shop by myself every week for some head space
-doing less baby groups
-having a few home cooked meals a day
-trying to be better with healthy living but not beating myself up when I’m not totally on plan
A friend kept saying “be kind to yourself” but I often struggle to know what that means.
Bless you Amy, I think us Mum’s feel like we need to be doing it all! Sounds like you handled it really well, I did the same thing with social media notifications on my phone it made such a difference!
Hope you are feeling better Laura, there has been a horrible bug going round everywhere.
I had a bad week last week, I was ill and felt so down and low, when normally I am all bubbly and smiley. If I feel crap I just try and tell myself this is how I feel right now and that’s fine, I’m just going to have to run with it and maybe this afternoon or tomorrow I will feel better. I try and not beat myself up…
I did however sink one of the big boxes of Ferraro Rocher…. That did make me feel better xx
Thanks Elizabeth, I’m feeling so much better thankfully! Ferraro Rocher are amazing, they would have made me feel better too :-)
There’s most definitely something in the water at the moment, myself and so many people I know have come down with horrible flu, or flu-like symptoms. I was at work on Saturday and felt so exhausted and drained, every time I stood up I felt I was going to pass out and my throat felt like it was full of razor blades – not great! So, fingers crossed you feel better soon, and I’m sorry to hear things haven’t been so fab lately! MATE, I had a full on argument/breakdown with my James yesterday, I got myself into a right old state! It’s good if you can laugh about it the next day….!
I’m in a right old state at the moment because I am beyond miserable being a graduate stuck in a crappy job that I dread waking up for every day, struggling to find a job that will kick start a career – let alone finding the time and energy to apply! It’s getting me down big time and affecting absolutely everything. So, yes, this has helped me big time in knowing I’m not alone with just feeling down and feeling life is just throwing too much crap my way right now!
Just small little changes ultimately help make a difference, and like you said, this isn’t forever and things will improve once again. I think once Winter is long gone and Spring begins to come into bloom, things will naturally elevate!
Chin up chicken, this was a FAB post and I bet you it’s helped more people than you realise :)
She’s So Lucy
Aww thanks Lucy, really sorry to hear you’re having a rough time of it too. I’m sure something will shift job wise soon, as you say I think sometimes life just throws it all at you and it’s ok to just go with it for a while knowing that things will shift again in time. Spring is definitely in the air!
hope you’re feeling better soon. It is DEFINITELY okay to have a moan and say you’re having a hard time, sounds like you have a lot on your plate and cope amazingly well x
Thanks so much petal, I don’t think I fully realised how much I had going on until now :-)