At the end of last year I did my usual ‘What the hell is going on in my life right now and what do I want to do with it?’ review and I realised that my life had started to fill up with lots of excuses. Excuses with why I couldn’t work out, why I couldn’t meal plan or prep my food in advance and why I couldn’t practice better self care.
Now you all know I’m into self love, and with that in mind I really don’t like the word ‘excuse’ in this context. Excuse implies that it’s not a valid reason, and when I thought about some of the things that came up for me, I did actually have some valid reasons for why things weren’t happening. Rather than having excuses about things, I was actually facing valid barriers that were stopping me from doing the things I wanted to do around my health and wellbeing.
So how do you start to overcome some of these barriers? This is the very simple process I went through to start to move through these blocks.
Firstly you need to ask yourself the following questions:
What’s not working in my life right now?
Simply write out a list of the ways things aren’t going well for you at the moment. For me it was things like having a poor immune system, spending money mindlessly and struggling to find time to exercise.
What needs to change?
This is a similar question to the one above but worded slightly differently, so see if anything comes out different for you.
What’s stopping me?
The big juicy one. Now that you’ve been specific about what’s not working, go through each point and identify what’s stopping you from changing that thing. It can be all sorts of things but try and be very specific, so instead of just saying lack of time, go deeper. For example, I was struggling to fit in exercise and the first thing that came up was lack of time, but when I went deeper it wasn’t actually time to exercise, it was time to get changed and showered afterwards, especially when I was with Finley that day.
In what ways can I approach things differently?
Now the magic can happen! Thinking clearly and creatively, how can you do things differently? Can you go to bed earlier and get up earlier? Can you ask someone for support with childcare? In my example above about time to work out, just realising that it was the getting ready and getting showered thing showed me that I could change straight into workout suitable clothes when I got up, so then as soon as Fin went down for his nap I could fit in a 20 minute workout and then use wipes to freshen up afterwards. With the money thing, I realised that by keeping tracking really simple, I could in fact start and track my budgets.
If you get stuck here, share your barriers with a friend or come into the Wholeheartedly Healthy Facebook Group (sign up for my free E Guide and you’ll also get access) and tag me. Getting another person’s perspective here can be super helpful.
Another way this exercise is useful is through highlighting mindset issues. If you get to the end and find that actually, there’s loads of ways you can do things differently but you just aren’t doing them, then mindset could be the issue. If that’s you, don’t forget to check out my Mindset Makeover Course.
For this week only purchase the Mindset Makeover Course and get my Fabulous YOU Bundle of over 50 resources for free! Check it out here >>>
Once you’ve gone through that process then it’s about implementing your new approaches! Just focus on one or two things at a time and start to see those barriers disappear.
Want this process as a free printable worksheet? Download here! >>>
I’d love to know: what barriers do you face? Have you ever overcome a barrier in an innovative way? How can you approach things differently?
You’re spot on. Sometimes barriers aren’t just a mental thing, they’re an actual real thing that despite you WANTING to do something you actually just can’t. I know I’m very lucky (in some ways) that my barriers are actually very few… though the two things that oftne hold me back are my commute from work because it’s so long and eats into time in the morning and evening and Alfie. I can’t just go off and do whatever I fancy in an evening without making sure Alfie has been walked or someone can look out for him. Obviously this is no way near as hard as having a child (!!) but it does mean I can’t just decide to do something at the drop of a hat.
Major kudos to you Laura for doing everything you do while being a supermum!
This is it exactly, we can be so hard on ourselves that we think they are us being lazy or using excuses when actually it’s a valid thing!
Love this – so true in that we do face genuine barriers and it all about perspectiv – I am goign to write down those questions and ask myself them – March is the perfect time for a mini self assestment ;) xxx
Absolutely, it’s so helpful working through them and seeing what you can change :-)
Such a good post Laura. I do still wish we had a few more hours in the day though, as I know I don’t get quite enough sleep so I am trying to be more organised earlier in the evening but it is not always that simple. But at least having identified it I can sort it.
I think that’s the thing, identifying it then you can start and change it :-)
Love this – I often don’t appreciate the difference between an excuse and a genuine barrier. x
So many of us are used to beating ourselves up aren’t we and saying it’s just excuses!