Being a mama: the third month

Baby and Parenting

Being a mama: the third month

Baby and Parenting

Finley milestone 12 weeks

Without wanting to sound like a broken record, I can hardly believe that my baby is 12 weeks old! Of course this month has been a huge month for us as a family. Finley finally had his successful heart surgery and since then we’ve been able to start settling into family life. In some ways his operation was like a new birth, he’s been growing like a weed since the op!

It has been a hard month at times for me as I talked about in my body and mind after birth update, but slowly I’m feeling happier and more settled in myself and my role as a mother. I feel like we are discovering each other all over again! He’s smiling away now and seems to be developing pretty well. He absolutely loves his baths and napping in the wrap, something I’ll talk about in a moment. I also think his eyes are very slowly starting to change from dark blue to a more brown colour like mine and James.

Somethings I’ve been loving this month…

Breastfeeding

One of the best things this month has been getting back to exclusively breastfeeding. After tube feeding and top up formula feeds I can really appreciate how much more simple breastfeeding is, at least for us. I talked in detail about breastfeeding in this post, and I am so glad that we’ve been able to continue post op! His weight gain has been very good, something I’m hoping continues. Due to him arriving 5 weeks early and then having slow weight gain due to his heart, he’s still a very little baby for his age at just 8lbs 1, but apparently these little ones catch up! 

He still feeds very frequently and doesn’t go much longer than 2 hours between feeds which means I’m knackered, however he sometimes does sleep up to 4 hours in the evening when James watches him so I can at least get in that stretch of sleep.

Baby Wearing

Ergo baby carrier with infant insert

Since we got back from the hospital Finley really does not like being anywhere other than in someones arms! He will have a kick about and play on his mat, but he won’t nap in his moses basket longer than 30 minutes so baby wearing is keeping me sane right now! I mostly use my Kari-Me stretchy wrap which I adore. He probably spends about 2-3 hours a day in it on me while I potter about round the house. A couple of weeks ago we invested in an Ergo Baby Carrier with infant insert as something that will last us a little longer as well as being better for James to use (as he feels the wrap is a little feminine for him!) As we are still in the upstairs one bed flat the pram lives in the car so for ease I often go for walks with him in the wrap and use it when going shopping instead. It really was a great purchase!

Bed sharing

As I was saying, since the op Finley will not sleep for long anywhere other than in mine or James arms or literally lying right up against me so we’ve kind of been forced to bed share. I had been using the baby moov cosy sleep to co-sleep with him – i.e. the baby moov on top of the duvet with his own blankets but he won’t even go for that now! I’m not sure how it developed and to start with I was really worried, but after a chat with my health visitor and reading the brilliant Sweet Sleep from the La Leche League I’m quite comfortable with bed sharing and the way we are currently bringing him up, i.e. very much an attachment parenting style. The Sweet Sleep book is also brilliant for making sure that we are doing everything safely too. Right now Finley and I have the bed and James sleeps in the living room on the floor so he can get some sleep! In future we’ll probably swap as I once Fin is rolling around I’d prefer something with no big drops at the sides. I do think we will be working on getting him to sleep longer in the moses basket, but for now we are happy with things and most importantly Finley is happy with things too! I am really hoping he’ll start and sleep a little longer at night though!

What has been challenging this month is oral thrush. The poor little one has had it for a while and it doesn’t seem to be shifting. I think it’s developed because at the hospital they were giving him sucrose to calm him when talking bloods and of course sugar feeds yeast. Luckily I don’t have it in my breasts but we are both being treated to make sure we aren’t passing anything back and forth. I’m using coconut oil and a grape seed oil wash on my nipples and some anti fungal cream and I’m using pro-biotics, grape seed wash and some anti fungal gel on Finley. It makes his mouth sore so sometimes feeding has been a challenge. I’m just hoping it will clear up soon!

Dummies

I bloody hate dummies! However, we ended up giving him one is desperation after he came out of hospital and just wouldn’t settle and to be honest it’s been a godsend. Anything that helps calm my baby is good by me. Of course I’m sterilising them meticulously with his thrush, but I do think that it’s the thrush that is making him so unsettled so hopefully once that’s cleared up he’ll be off them.

Cute Finley

How lush right!? I know I’m totally bias but he is the most gorgeous baby in the whole world! Every where we go people stop us and comment on how beautiful he is. How he came from me and James I’ll never know!

The third month has definitely been full of highs and lows (mostly highs though!) and I’m really looking forward to what’s to come, especially seeing him gain more weigh and chunk out even more. He’s just a pleasure!  

If you are a parent did you baby wear? Would you bed share with your baby? 

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20 Comments

  1. Claudia

    Laura, Finley looks gorgeous and happy!

    Yes, hold him in your arms as much as possible, hold him tight, smash him almost, like he was still in your belly. Small babies love it. And share your bed as he needs body contact, he needs to feel safe. He left your belly earlier than expected and he misses it, he needs the physical contact more than other babies, specially after that scary hospital time, surgery, weird formula and tubes. Even if everything went well, he felt it all, he missed you, your breastfeeding, the contact, now he need loads and loads of mama and dad contact to feel safe and grow happy and healthy.

    Your love, time and dedication is the best food for a little baby, enjoy every moment of it. Remember, he will grow very fast and soon he will be walking and not willing to be hold anymore…

    Reply
    • Laura Agar Wilson

      That is absolutely right, James and I have talked about the idea of trying him in his moses basket etc but we’ve both said it just doesn’t feel right, he needs more cuddles than most babies and we are more than happy to provide them!

      Reply
  2. Anna @AnnaTheApple

    Ahh he’s such a sweetie. Sounds like hard work though!! He is so diddy isn’t he? I weighed 9lb6oz when I was born!!! I was heffer hehe.

    Reply
    • Laura Agar Wilson

      He is tiny, it worries me sometimes especially when you see him next to other babies the same age but it is what it is, I’m just hoping he starts and catches up. He’s doing ok so far and gained over a 1lb in two weeks so hopefully that will continue!

      Reply
  3. Claire Hayhurst

    He’s gorgeous Laura, so full of character as well! Hope his thrush clears up super soon.

    Reply
  4. Karina

    Yes and loved wearing my baby for shopping etc. baby’s love the secure interaction of mum / primary carer and tend to thrive on this very traditional and instictive approach to child-rearing! Don’t worry about Wee Fin being small he’ll catch up in no time, good work lovely mama:)

    Reply
    • Laura Agar Wilson

      I do hope he catches up! Finally got Womanly art of Breastfeeding, great read!

      Reply
  5. Lauren

    That last picture is ADORABLE!
    I am so glad things are on the up lady :)

    Reply
  6. Bron

    we didn’t have a good carrier for my little girl (she hated the wrap) but next time I am definitely going to try the Ergo – I think my husband would like using it too! We co-slept on and off with Charlotte – sometimes she just wouldn’t settle anywhere but with me, but she also likes her moses basket too so it was a process of just seeing what worked that night. By the time she got to 4-5 months she was better sleeping in her moses basket then cot, and once we got a wedge and slept her on her side she was MUCH happier. Now she is almost two she sleeps in her cot most nights, but every so often she wakes up upset and wants to get in with me – which I actually don’t mind most of the time now I am back working and don’t get as many cuddles during the day! You do what you have to do to get you through :-) they won’t be little like this forever and I am sure we will miss the cuddles in bed one day!

    He’s so gorgeous in that last shot – what a little character! xx

    Reply
    • Laura Agar Wilson

      That sounds like a great idea, I’m sure Finley prefers sleeping on his side, something I think he picked up in the ICU after his op. As you say these days won’t last forever and I’ll miss him wanting cuddles all the time so I’m happy to go with it :-)

      Reply
  7. Tamzin

    Sounds like things are settling nicely for you and he really is adorable I wanna cuddle!!

    Reply
    • Laura Agar Wilson

      Thanks Tamzin, you’ll be able to have a cuddle sometime next year I hope! Hope you have enjoyed cuddles with your nephew :-)

      Reply
      • Tamzin

        Yay I can’t wait for that! Cuddles with Joey are wonderful but I don’t want them to end : (

        Reply
  8. Mary

    What a lovely last photo in your post!
    It really does feel like those three months went by really fast!
    My friend gave birth to premature twins at the start of the Summer and one of them is only now fitting into newborn clothes. The other one is well on their way to catching up with their age clothes though! I weighed more than Finley does now when I was born!

    Reply
    • Laura Agar Wilson

      I know we sometimes struggle to catch him mid smile! I now he is so tiny, I just hope he catches up, although I don’t wish anyone else to have premies it does make me feel better to know that theres other babies little as well.

      Reply
  9. Purely Twins

    so glad things are going great!!! love baby wearing

    Reply
  10. Maria @ runningcupcake

    He is doing so well after his op. 8lbs is small but not teeny- my friend’s baby was 3lbs when he came home from hospital as he was so premature, and you would never know now (he is 6). At least with the health visitor you can have your instincts backed up a bit- after his unsettling time in hospital it is not a surprise that he wants more contact with you.

    Reply
  11. Rosie Slosek

    My partner bedshared with his son until well into infant school.

    Finlay has been through a lot of trauma and I can completely relate to needing skin contact 24/7. I’m like that (as much as I can make a fuss about it being a grown up and all) when I’m stressed and not myself.

    Reply

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